What Should Making “amends” Mean When Someone Gets Off Drugs?

Question by tihspidaru: What should making “amends” mean when someone gets off drugs?
11 years ago i tried to help a long time childhood friend that was in a rut back in our home town…we grew up together so i felt that i could help him…i bought him a plane ticket from michigan to arizona so that he could get a teaching position as they were plentiful there…i lent/sent him money to get things settled and so he could get a place to stay when he got in arizona…the very first night he was in arizona he stole my car…i didn’t see him until four days later when he showed up at my door looking like total crap and without my car…to find out, he had gone on a crack and meth binge blowing all of the money he had and the money i had left him…he had “sold” my car to get more drugs…the car was recovered wrecked and with total engine damage…me and a friend took him to a rehab place where he could live…he would have to work and pay them from what he made and go through all their programs…well, in no time he got kicked out of that for not following the rules (not getting high)…i only heard from him a few times when he would try and con money out of me and ask me for a ride…now 11 years later he finally contacts me telling me he has his life together and has been clean for 7 years and is getting married, is getting his masters degree, has a 4 bedroom house, and 2 cars…he has apologized and said he needed to make “amends” with me…well, i am very happy he has his life together…this person basicaly ripped me off and cost me thousands of dollars…since that time i have went on disability due to neck and back injuries and now live a very meager life in an efficiency apartment with no car and absolutely no extra money to even be able to go to a movie once a month…is sorry supposed to make up what he did to me?…i am happy for him, but should he not pay me back the money that his “drugging” cost me?…i forgive him, but how is just saying sorry supposed to make everything right?…would it be wrong for me to ask that he pay me back, especialy when he is doing so well and i am not now?…thank you for any advice you can give me…and i don’t need to hear how stupid i was for helping him!…thanks, i already know that!…lol…

Best answer:

Answer by Bullfrog21
He should give you one of the cars otherwise his recovery won’t last. I am assuming you can still drive and can afford the insurance and upkeep. However that is between him and God.

If you can really use a car you can tell him you need one.

Answer by amberowl28
I think that after all this time you can’t really expect money back, it would be nice and the right thing for him to do if he did but you shouldn’t expect it. After all you could have prosecuted him at the time instead you chose not to and to get him into a rehab program instead, which was the right thing to do, be satisfied with that and that he did eventually get himself sorted out.


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